So I had a tooth removed on Wednesday. Was unexpected. The last few days have been weird getting use to it not there. I have had a few weird moments since then that I just felt this loss. I know weird right. How could I miss a tooth? I really felt like sitting down and … Continue reading Missing tooth…
Sometimes it's hard. This moment today is hard, tender and teary, and I want to crawl into a shell like a snail and just hide away. It feels safer there. But I don't. I want to, but I don't. I want to withdraw and run cause it hurts and I'm scared but that's not where … Continue reading Hard moments I want to hide
Silence... But so many glorious sounds Stillness... Yet so much movement Nature. Dancing and singing His praises. Declaring His glory. Calling me into connection with the one who created. The intricately detailed, unique, and delicate design put into every blade of grass, every leaf, flower petal, draws me to ponder the thought he has placed … Continue reading Connecting through creation – my morning reflection
I find laughter an interesting concept. I maybe too serious or too sensitive or just odd. I don't know. But I get uncomfortable at laughter at times. I don't know why but I'm cautious of laughter. Does it have underlining messages we are sharing? Do we add to negative social constructs unconsciously by laughter? Is … Continue reading Laughter – what is healthy and unhealthy?
I value what some Christian parties are trying to do but at times it feels like they are devaluing a lot of others work and the Christians who already in government too. I wonder if we are defaulting a lot of responsibility to government and systems which God calls us to. Even if Christians don't … Continue reading Are we ready to be the change or just vote for change?
Have you ever stopped for a moment to look at the other side of a message your sending? I've noticed an ouch to phrases such as deserving. What message does that send to the one without? If the presence of this = dserving The unpresent = undeserving???? Are people really deserving or us if simply … Continue reading Deserving…???
I've felt tender today and an ouch. Most today I've put aside ignored till this evening. I've gone to bed super early curled up and realized I'm hurting. I've spent the last hour trying to justify with myself why I shouldnt feel sad. Then I realized what I was doing and needed to do. Just … Continue reading Ouch – doesn’t need to be justified
The cool wind of singleness is blowing tonight. Not the cool summer breeze type but the one that send that chill that ya just can't seem to shake. Ya know the sun will rise and the warmth will come again but as for right now the breeze is blowing. Usually I'd buffer the breeze with … Continue reading Cool wind of singleness blows again…
Sometimes I get that feeling that i just want to be held. To be held in your arms tight yet gentle and comforting God. Yet your arms don't reach from heaven. The gap between seems wide. The deep empty space feels gaping echoing wide. I draw myself in and embrace a pillow or teddy, anything … Continue reading Need to be held
Inspiration today comes free from the back yard lemon tree! Some things is life leave a sour taste your mouth for a moment but are actually good for you. That's my reminder today from the lemon tree. Lemons have great vitamins and nutrients but taste SOUR! Locking down again, is probably pretty sour tasting for … Continue reading Re Cocooning day 3 – Lemons, sour but good
By now if you are in auckland you will be at home locking down for a few days at least.Yes we will be going online with lots of life again. I know it's not what most of us want, we want to be there in person, but I'm taking comfort and courage from parts of … Continue reading Re entering lockdown – the effects
I haven't written for a while now. Maybe I didn't need an outlet. I don't know but tonight I feel like writting. It's so great to have my sister from the south island with her two kids up staying. I love having them come to stay. I love all my family and nieces and nephews … Continue reading Grief…
The coldness settles in for the night. The cool breeze of singleness washes over me. Strangely numbing brings relief from the pain of the cold chill. But also means all life is cut off to that area To awaken circulation and life brings greater more pain. Staying numb would seem safer. The pain long hidden … Continue reading Cool breeze of singleness
Covid you mess with my head Your near invisibleSo small you can't be seenYet you threaten the lives of manyYou left waves of fearThat lingerings long after you been thereActually you may not have even visited places where there is fearBut we can't see youSo whose to know if you are or aren't thereCovid you … Continue reading Covid you mess with my head
So we move in just over an hour to level 2. We will be able to once again move about see other people while staying at a distance. So hugs might be delayed but conversations, coffee, dinner and walks together can resume. It's kinda weird to think of going back to level 2. And how … Continue reading Day 48 cocooning – final locked in day. moving to level 2!
Usually a rainy grey day snuggled on the couch with a blanket and watching movies would be welcomed on a day off. But today it really was not that appealing. I think it's because Netflix has been a source of company in this lockdown time. And the wet grey weather felt like it further clouded … Continue reading Day 38 cocooning – grey rainy day
You might have noticed that I've been trying to write each night. But last night I didn't. Was a bad blah night. I can't tally say why but it just was. Maybe it was the end of the week, a Friday night and I was home nothing to do. Hadn't had many calls to me … Continue reading Day 37 cocooning – blah waves
I was watching TV today and caught myself telling characters that they need to keep their distance. They ain't social distancing. Lol. Yeah for real. It wasn't out aloud but I was thinking it. It's strange to think how that has become almost a normal thing seeing people distancing that I thought for that moment … Continue reading Day 35 cocooning – attuned to distancing
That sums up my thoughts tonight. I'm tired. How should I respond to that noticing. Simple answer go to sleep. That's exactly what I'm gonna do. Go to sleep. None of this fighting tiredness to stay in denial. I don't need to push self right now. The best thing to do is .... Sleep. So … Continue reading Day 34 cocooning – tired tired tired
Our bubble extended today to help homeschool my nieces while my sister and brother in law work. Today's projects were to build something or bake something. One niece decided to bake a cake with grandma and one decided to build something with me. Was so much fun. I taught them how to first design what … Continue reading Day 33 cocooning- homeschooling projects
Unedited Wonderings 