The conversation started years ago but it gained momentum about 3 years ago. My counsellor at the time had introduced me to the concept of disenfranchised grief. Or maybe it was I'd unknowingly introduced her and myself to disenfranchised grief of singleness; to the voice of singleness. A voice which even I hadn't heard that … Continue reading Keep talking singles…
Sometime God I wish you could reach down and have real arms to wrap around me and hold me. That your voice would be audible like chatting to friend. That I could see touch feel you. But I can't. I know your there God but it really aches and right now I could do with … Continue reading Hard day – waiting for the emotion to move on by
Out of your own brokenness and need, your own vulnerability, opens doors for others. This post is dedicated to my lockdown ladies and my Celebrate Recovery ladies and all those that have sat and shared with me, you have been a real gift to me. I've never seen this quite so clearly how vulnerability opens … Continue reading
My heart crys out to you Lord. Where can I find rest for my soul tonight. I'm weary and weak. Tossed and tumbled confused by the voices unsure whats a truth to believe and what's a lie. I can't find a way to define the truth it's so mixed up in this light. Search my … Continue reading Psalm in the midst of a storm
As I gaze upon your creation you speak. You speak words of wisdom. Words of loveWords of comfort, insight. Words of hope. Words that resound louder than turmoil about me. Words louder than the storms within me. Louder, stronger, and more powerful, Yet gentle, calming, Reassuring to the soul. Reviving, refreshing to the spirit. Words that bring … Continue reading You speak…
I don't know about anyone else but my head has many many many conversations happening. Conscious and not. We have this unspoken conversation of what is meant. I often plan out conversations in my head which is not bad in itself but the problem is we can't actually know what another's response will be. We … Continue reading Biggest conversations I have are those in my head… And half are never actually needed
So I had a tooth removed on Wednesday. Was unexpected. The last few days have been weird getting use to it not there. I have had a few weird moments since then that I just felt this loss. I know weird right. How could I miss a tooth? I really felt like sitting down and … Continue reading Missing tooth…
Have you ever actually thought deeply about the untold parts of Jesus's life? Of course it all thoughts no proof as it's untold but think about it. Jesus a baby, he cried, had wet nappies, maybe had trouble feeding, woke Mary possibly two, three times a night if not more. As a toddler did he … Continue reading Little boy child Jesus Christ…
Faith. What the heck is it? I've been pondering in faith this week and the story of Christ. Faith is not a thing of the past. It's not a wishful hope or belief that it just might happen. The words "have faith" are thrown about so flipantly in many Christians lives. Before you zone out … Continue reading Faith, what is it really?
Unsure what to hold what will remain in place I grasp for you. My solid rock. With all that's moving shuffling transitioning it's hard to see that solid rock. I know the rock remains solid firm unmovabke but as the world round it shakes and moves its hard to see what's solid unmoving. When all … Continue reading Shifting – shaky – yet solid ground
I'm single. I struggle often with a grief that's feels hard to explain. If you've lost someone dear to you people seem to get it. They get the need for the tender care and to check in see how you are. They get the tears, the hurt and the pain. They get why you may … Continue reading The unheard cry of the unseen gap
Sometimes it's hard. This moment today is hard, tender and teary, and I want to crawl into a shell like a snail and just hide away. It feels safer there. But I don't. I want to, but I don't. I want to withdraw and run cause it hurts and I'm scared but that's not where … Continue reading Hard moments I want to hide
Silence... But so many glorious sounds Stillness... Yet so much movement Nature. Dancing and singing His praises. Declaring His glory. Calling me into connection with the one who created. The intricately detailed, unique, and delicate design put into every blade of grass, every leaf, flower petal, draws me to ponder the thought he has placed … Continue reading Connecting through creation – my morning reflection
I find laughter an interesting concept. I maybe too serious or too sensitive or just odd. I don't know. But I get uncomfortable at laughter at times. I don't know why but I'm cautious of laughter. Does it have underlining messages we are sharing? Do we add to negative social constructs unconsciously by laughter? Is … Continue reading Laughter – what is healthy and unhealthy?
I wonder if we have lost the art of telling a story of faith. Passing down the story through generations. I'm curious about how a large percentage of emphasis of faith has been put on knowing the word. Knowing the "truth". But Jesus said 'I am the way the truth and the life... ". So … Continue reading Speaking life truth
I value what some Christian parties are trying to do but at times it feels like they are devaluing a lot of others work and the Christians who already in government too. I wonder if we are defaulting a lot of responsibility to government and systems which God calls us to. Even if Christians don't … Continue reading Are we ready to be the change or just vote for change?
As I lie here tonight, reflecting on how my life at the strike of midnight goes very much back to normal, we move to level 1 with just boarder restriction, there are officially no active community cases of covid left in New Zealand, overseas travel is still out but for me a non overseas traveler … Continue reading We stand with you…
Have you ever stopped for a moment to look at the other side of a message your sending? I've noticed an ouch to phrases such as deserving. What message does that send to the one without? If the presence of this = dserving The unpresent = undeserving???? Are people really deserving or us if simply … Continue reading Deserving…???
I've felt tender today and an ouch. Most today I've put aside ignored till this evening. I've gone to bed super early curled up and realized I'm hurting. I've spent the last hour trying to justify with myself why I shouldnt feel sad. Then I realized what I was doing and needed to do. Just … Continue reading Ouch – doesn’t need to be justified
The cool wind of singleness is blowing tonight. Not the cool summer breeze type but the one that send that chill that ya just can't seem to shake. Ya know the sun will rise and the warmth will come again but as for right now the breeze is blowing. Usually I'd buffer the breeze with … Continue reading Cool wind of singleness blows again…