You might have noticed that I’ve been trying to write each night. But last night I didn’t. Was a bad blah night. I can’t tally say why but it just was. Maybe it was the end of the week, a Friday night and I was home nothing to do. Hadn’t had many calls to me in the week and so I missed people and felt just kinda blah and lonely.
Of course I’m immensely thankful for family. Just I’m missing other contact. I’m missing the craziness of my last house and the crowded dinner table. The contact with friends even if it’s passing or the conversations diveted by significant little people constantly.
I guess it also highlights I’m not living with a significant friend. A significant other. There’s not that person ringing me checking up on my day. Or isolating beside me. Again I’ve got my parents and that’s great and I’m so thankful for them but ya get what I mean.
I guess it’s been just a wave. A wave of missing something I never had and may never had. It’s not a constant it’s just a wave that comes and goes sometimes. And these last few days the waters been a bit choppy in patches. Just patches not a constant. But still there at times.
So as I go to sleep tonight I just ask God to be extra present in this spot that’s tender. I take gentle care of me as its just a little tender.
Ps this is a picture of Max. He is in our extended bubble. It’s my sisters and neices puppy. He came to visit today. Once the girls wore him out I got to have a snuggle with him as he slept.
Unedited Wonderings 