The coldness settles in for the night.
The cool breeze of singleness washes over me.
Strangely numbing brings relief from the pain of the cold chill.
But also means all life is cut off to that area
To awaken circulation and life brings greater more pain.
Staying numb would seem safer.
The pain long hidden in numbness is nothing compared to the pain of awakening life in that area again.
There is no way out of the numbness to connectedness and life without going through pain
As I lie here alone do I dare acknowledge the chilling breeze of singlness
Or do I numb it again?
I reach to numb it but stop
I don’t want to go there
I know how much more pain and damage it causes me when I numb
I step away and acknowledge it
Out leaks a few tears
Tears no one is here to see or hear
I curl up
Cover myself with a blanket of prayer because I know you care
The cold wind is still blowing
But I find warmth and comfort wrapped up in my blanket even though the cool breeze is still here.
Unedited Wonderings 